Thursday, June 9, 2011

I had an interesting session with the Therapy Lady this week as opposed to last week where it seemed like I was jumping from subject to subject in order to find something wrong.  But just because things may be OK for a bit doesn't mean talk therapy should stop.  I've been going solid now, pretty much once a week since September.  Nothing dramatic has happened.  No major revelations, just affirmations of what I've known for a long time:

I've been waiting for life to begin.  But the truth is, it already started and I've been sitting on the sidelines watching it happen.  So now this begs the question, how do I live my life?  Right now there's the matter of the CSET.  Nope.  Still haven't taken it.  Fear of not passing.  Fear of not getting into a program.  Fear of not being hired.  Rumor has it there are slim pickins' in the way of teaching jobs here in California.  Thank God for my job already which I absolutely adore.  But I need health insurance.  I need a retirement.  I need a raise.  Maybe I should concentrate more on my niche that I've created for myself at the 'Mark.  The bossladies have been good to me.  They usually let me run with ideas and always have my back.  Food for thought.

I deserve the best, but do I give myself that?  I want the best for Sophia, but if I don't allow myself the best, how will she in the future?  Something's gotta give...

Time to focus on me for a bit.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Exactly 30 minutes till I put the kiddo down for the night and she just asked me what "festant anarchy" means.  They just used that term on Open Season 2.  You know, that kid's movie?  I said stinking no government and she answered with an, "oh".  Easy.

I skipped church tonight, which is usually my beacon of adult conversation on Wednesday.  It's been a long day:  Rugrat Wednesday (the last one), Riverpark for swimsuits, water shoes, end of the year teacher's gifts, Sushi at Yoshinos, water play in the backyard, a clean kitchen, laundry, dinner and now a movie.  20 more minutes.

Oh come on.  I know the rest of you with kids do this too.

17 more minutes now...

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

 A couple of posts by some FB friends on their own pages read after I linked my blog:

  • Whether we are upper class or lower class, powerful or powerless, married or single, is all irrelevant. What matters is your calling from God.
  • Do not let self righteousness get in the way of the enjoyment of life. you might just miss a whole bunch of experiences.

This morning was a new early for me.  At 4:50 AM, my eyes popped open.  While my profession lends itself to me catching my zzzzzz's in the wee hours of the morning, if it's not a work night, I'm down before 11 and up between 5:30 and 6.  So.  Top of the mornin' to ya!

This is what was running through my head this morning.  How is it OK to have 53 guns in your house, "some loaded and not locked up".  So now that this person has exercised his "God given right" to own firearms... was it worth it at the expense of such a precious little life?  Right after this happened the gun range offered a gun safety class.  Why though?  Isn't it common sense that loaded guns shouldn't be in the house where a toddler, who isn't a rational thinker yet, can get ahold of them?  I feel like gun advocates are quick to defend their rights when stuff like this goes down.  But the guy had 53 guns.  You can't possibly defend that.

Just saw this post to FB:  "If you voted for Obama in 2008 to prove your weren't a racist, you'd better vote for someone else in 2012 to prove you're not an idiot".  Nice.  I love the fact that it's so overtly grammatically incorrect that the maker of the sign doesn't realize the irony in it.

Yikes.  This post isn't going in the direction I wanted it to.  I get all ranty in the morning and wind up offending too many people.  Ok, positive stuff:

- I also woke up with a little Chris Tomlin in my head.

"I will wait for you to move,
 For your mighty hand to save,
 When the troubled waters rise,
 Lord, you are my hiding place".

Lately I've been questioning Why and When on various matters. I remember having a talk with someone when I was about 20 and promising that if I was still not married by the time I was 26, I wasn't going to fret but to use my "gift of singleness" as a tool for God.  I wonder if way back in 1994 if the Lord chuckled when he heard that?

- Memorial Day went off with out a hitch.  The first ribs of the season were tasty.  (Pats myself on my back).  I love my new Tiki torches and my new plastic patio furniture.  Miss Grace was entertained although there were not other little ones.  Thank goodness my friends haven't forgotten what it's like to play like children.  Thanks to all who made it.  And most of all, thanks for your wonderful friendships.  More BBQs to come this season...

ohmygoodness.  It's June already... and a couple of minutes before 7.  Time to wake Sleeping Beauty.