Saturday, March 2, 2013

Yeah whatever. I'm not positive all the time and this post will most likely prove it.

As I was engaging in my morning Facebook scroll I came across this meme. Some days I respond with a 'yes!' or a 'right on!' Kind of like an 'amen!' if you grew up in church. However this morning, as to not discourage my positive friend, I think I'll just comment here with a 'meh'. Yes, 'meh'.

This morning I'm not really sure if I believe that bullshit. I woke up spread across the diagonal of my huge bed. You see, I can do this because for quite some years now I only share my bed with my two cats. And then occasionally the Gangly One finds her way across the hall for a cuddle. I can pretty much sleep anyway that I want because there isn't anyone else to to consider. Nobody calls me a blanket or a pillow hog and I can fall asleep to the TV blaring if I damn well please. Still, one day it would be nice to be waking up next to someone.

Which brings me back to this meme. I'm not looking, I swear! Well maybe just a little, but that OKCupid profile is coming down. Encouraged by my friends who met their soul mates online I gave it an honest shot. Nope. I met Dud, Weirdo, and Cray Cray. I barely have time to date as I work those prime date hours and when I'm not working, I'm being a Mom. Who wants in on that action? (Crickets chirping). The thing is, that's who I want: someone who wants in on that action.

How is it that there are couples who seem just to fall into this? I see it all the time. There are some ugly people (and not only in the physical sense) who have someone madly in love with them who overlook some serious stuff. And contrary to what Oprah stated in my previous post: it's working out FINE for them. Love really IS blind.

But still, that's not what I want. So is that why I'm still single? Because I won't overlook those red flags anymore?

I've experienced love. But I've also experienced some serious heartache. It's left me with wisdom that I'm truly thankful for. Hell no, I won't be making the same mistake twice. But here I am. 38 years old and sleeping single in a California king sized bed.


Daphne said...

gosh, it's hard! i can't say i know what you're going through. but i bear witness to it.

do you ever wonder if that shitty "knight in sining armor" book really went in deep during a really formational period in our lives...and somehow gave us that weird, just don't look for it and God will send it to chase you down mentality? because i do and i STILL sometimes don't know what to do with it! even as a happily married gal. and for me, it's about more than "just" finding's about life.

miriam said...

Oh totally! A woman named "Bunny" wrote it. And when we met her at PC and she invited us on her Singles Cruise, I knew it was shiesty! And there's that Joshua Harris fellow who wrote the I Kissed Dating Goodbye at the ripe old age of 22. Let's also remember he was homeschooled. I'm sure he had a boatload of experiences.

I've been in love, loved and been loved. And you're right Daphne, it's about sharing life. I hope I get to do that one day.